Will I ever learn…

…the Lord is ALIVE in me and FAITHFUL even when I’m not in tune to His Spirit.  His patience with me when I am completely wrapped up in myself can bring me to my knees…once I remember that’s where I NEED to be.  I want to be like Him.  I long to be a radiant reflection of my Savior.  I am a slow work in progress, but He desires to prevail within me.

This season of life since Hurricane Matthew wreaked havoc on Haiti has been tough.  The picture below is what our garden now looks like because it hasn’t been tended too.  It looks like I had begun to feel.  Yet, because the Lord lives in me I am more like that lone kale plant than the rest of our garden…while struggling, I am alive.


As I recently shared with some prayer warriors, in the midst of such good stuff I am finding myself tired, overwhelmed and frustrated.  I feel like the fire in my relationship with the Lord that has burned so brightly seems to be barely flickering.

I know I need balance. Got way too much striving, not enough trusting, too much work, not enough rest, too much expenditure, not enough filling… happening in my life.  I allowed it!  .

After reading Psalm 77 a few days ago I reached out.  As I meditated on what He has done, what His WORD says, I chose to intentionally seek the Lord to move me forward…mind, body and soul.  I reached out to people who pray…to a few I asked to hold me accountable.  I am now opening myself up to the masses knowing that the Lord has surrounded us with prayer warriors we are free to be vulnerable with.  Prayer works.  It’s powerful!


While there is a lot to do, the need around is tremendous and has escalated, I can’t allow it to stand in the way of taking care of myself and my family.  Most importantly my time with the ONE who rejuvenates my soul.  I’m in pursuit of tweaking a few things I’ve let go awry….

  • STARTing my day in prayer, before my feet hit the cool tile and get into God’s Word so I can stay focused in my mind
  • Carving out time to eat sensibly for my body knowing my issues and exercise because it good for my mind and body, allowing me to serve well
  • Appreciating what God has made, what He has done and what He is doing, taking time to reflect and worship, in order to keep my soul fresh

God is the One who ALWAYS changes and shifts my focus, through prayer, praise and the determination needed to persevere.  I want to “live my life in Him,  rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as I’ve been taught, overflowing with thankfulness” because I belong to and am empowered by my Redeemer.   Praying God will infuse that passion back into my life!  He is able!   There is great beauty in my brokenness, especially as I bear witness to the moment He pulls me up, out of the slimy pit.  He’s been patiently waiting for me to grab His outstretched hand.

He had surrounded me with people here, near and far who are willing to get on their knees with and for us…daily.  He is at work in our midst…it’s pretty spectacular!


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1 Response to Will I ever learn…

  1. Art Pender says:

    Thank you for sharing the story. In our prayers, The Pender Family

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